Joel Melton

Joel Melton spoke one perfect and rarely necessary sentence in French.

Oh, sure, he was a longtime bank manager who also worked as a substitute teacher in middle and grade schools, and, yes, he was an active volunteer, mentor, and trustee at the oldest African Methodist Episcopal Church west of the Mississippi River. And his legendary fried corn, smoked turkey, barbecue ribs, and sweet potato pie indeed shushed people into silence at first bite. But his delivery of the phrase, “la salade est sur la table,” was a thing of beauty that he dispensed with sincerity and eyes lit by a ready smile.

“The salad,” he would say grandly, “is on the table.”

Joel’s life began in Youngstown, Ohio on Feb. 3, 1953, the third of three children born to Opal Mercedes Saunders and Julius Ceasar Melton, following siblings Marsha and Wesley into a uniquely American family history.

Joel’s great grandfather, Oscar D. Boggess, a freedman, settled in Youngstown after the Civil War, starting a stone quarry, and founding the city’s first A.M.E. Church in his home. Joel was raised in the old house on Ridge Avenue where his grandmother grew up, just across the street from the school where Joel, the kindergartener, would jump out of the windows to return home. He was a freewheeling youngster who learned to drive at 13 and never looked back.

He attended Ohio University, where two very important things happened: He became a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc.’s Love Line on Nov. 18, 1972, and he began dating a confident and loving woman, Reyne Ellen Crockett, whom he married in 1977. Joel and Reyne were thrilled at the birth of their first and only daughter, Kimberly, in 1979.

At the time, Joel was retail branch manager at AmeriTrust Bank in Cleveland. The family moved to St. Louis in 1984, where Reyne, a talented writer and communicator, served as the Communications Manager for the U.S. Postal Service, and Joel, for whom cooking was a love language, began to pursue a career in restaurants, starting as a chef’s apprentice at the Adam’s Mark Hotel in 1986. That was also the year breast cancer took Reyne, on Oct. 12, at age 34.

It was a devastating loss. Anyone who knew Joel knew family was his overarching priority. He raised Kimberly with the help of his close-knit family. His sister and mother would travel from Ohio to help care for Kimberly in elementary and middle school. Joel’s fraternity brothers and lifelong friends were godfathers, godmothers, aunts and uncles to his daughter, there to lean on during the ups and downs of life.

Driving, sometimes with no destination in mind, was one of his favorite things to do. On those drives around St. Louis, or in Ohio, Joel would talk to his daughter about historical landmarks, the best corned beef, and that spot where he drove off the road after taking off with his dad’s car. He could also braid hair and pick out prom dresses. Joel was the ultimate girl dad.

And he would cook with Kimberly, first at the restaurant he opened, Mom’s Barbecue Restaurant, on Manchester Road, and later at Joel’s Gourmet Catering, the business he founded and ran for 13 years.

While Kimberly finished Rosati-Kain Academy, Stanford University, and the University of California, Berkeley, and launched careers in journalism and government, Joel stayed grounded in his volunteer work at St. Paul A.M.E. Church, which he attended for nearly 40 years. There, he was part of the team that started a young men's mentoring program, St. Paul Saturdays, that hundreds of youths went through over the years. He served as a father figure and mentor to those without, and as a part of the Grief Ministry, drawing on his own experience to support others faced with profound loss. On Sundays, he was a fixture in the church’s sound booth, making sure everything was set up for people to watch on Zoom or Facebook, a role that became even more crucial when the church closed during the pandemic.

Joel would sometimes message Kimberly during services, sending videos and commentary so she felt like she, too, was right in the bosom of their church family. A playful spirit, Joel loved recording his daily life, from making coffee to picking out donuts to narrating proper laundry techniques, and the celebration, in 2022, of his 50th anniversary as a Kappa. The recipients of many of those video messages were often his daughter, family, and lucky friends. With a wave of his hand, he would sometimes close the short video with the words: “Have a blessed day!”

Or every once in a while, “La salade est sur la table.”

Joel died in his sleep at his home in the Central West End on Dec. 15.

Joel was preceded in death by his mother, Opal, father, Julius, and his beloved wife, Reyne.
His survivors, heavy of heart, include his daughter, Kimberly Melton; sister, Marsha Melton; brother, Wesley Melton; nieces Amanda Melton and Erica Melton-Heide; great nephew, Ethan; great niece, Samantha; and a host of dear cousins and many friends.

The family asks that remembrances be made to St. Paul Saturdays in memory of Joel Melton here: stpaulsaturdays.com.